So I've had a fantastic idea and this is it:
Cancer in the UK, it really, really sucks. Several people die every day and many more suffer greatly from it. We don't really understand it and most of us spend at lest some time being scared of it, a senseless and evil killer that can strike out of the blue, any second, any day.
Well this is how I propose to solve this problem and end the death, fear and suffering of so many of my countrymen, it's a bit out there but stay with me. Basically, every few days we get a hundred or so healthy, ordinary, non-British people, over a third of them children, and slaughter them, painfully.
By sacrificing these foreign kids and their foreign families to abrupt, agonising and terror filled death we will appease the forces that inflict cancer upon us. The mass graves their friends will have to dig for them will spare us the dignified individual burials we have had to endure for so long.
So what do we think?
Oh no, wait, that's not even bullshit is it, it's genocidal lunacy.
In fact there are three very good reasons why this is patently nonsensical. Firstly, I'd be prepared to bet that most UK cancer sufferers would choose to keep their tumours rather than see scores of children butchered.
Secondly, there would surely be a broad consensus in our society that the price is simply to high and that, more significantly, there must be another, less costly, way. Thirdly, and most importantly I feel, HOW THE FUCK IS KILLING LOADS OF INNOCENT FOREIGN PEOPLE GOING TO SAVE A FEW INNOCENT BRITISH PEOPLE?
Now am I just wasting your time here? Suggesting a nonsense idea and then disproving it at length? Well to be honest guys, I really wish I was. Unfortunately, watching various flavours TV news yesterday, two sickening images stuck in my mind.
The first was most dreadful of sights that which should NEVER come to be anywhere or anywhen: the digging and filling of mass graves in Lebanon. To hear or see of such a thing chokes me up and gets me really pissed off.
The second, and this was what really turned my stomach, was the procession of sub human scum(1) in suits declaring that various vague political plans took priority over an immediate ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon and that, effectively, mass graves were currently acceptable.
What the hell is going on?
Mass graves, forced migrations of peoples, putting political ideals before human life, does none of this sound familiar? Not even to Israel? Dress it up how you like, wrap yourself in the safety of powerful sounding words, what we are witnessing on our TVs are crimes against humanity. The oldest and dirtiest parts of human culture being played out afresh just as if we never stopped smashing each other's heads in with rocks.
I don't have much time for absolutes, I don't trust them and they tend to cause a lot of problems. That said however, I can't get away from the fact that there are some that, to me, actually do feel absolute. I'll work on it and define some criteria but for now forgive my dogmatism when I say:
THE KILLING OF INNOCENT LEBANESE AND ISRAELI CITIZENS IS POINT BLANK WRONG AND THE IMMEDIATE CESSATION OF THIS VIOLENCE TAKES PRIORITY OVER ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ELSE.
As far as I can see, and please do correct me if you feel you can, any argument to the contrary is equivalent of putting a gun to child's temple and pulling the trigger. Is it really so wild and unreasonable an idea to expect that no-one should EVER have to dig a mass grave again? Well it would seem that, according to our esteemed and honoured world leaders, yes, it is.
footnotes
(1) this is not a phrase I'm comfortable using but I'm really angry about this, in my eyes humanity is a single creature with a fundamental drive of self preservation, therefore to actively encourage mass death and suffering is sub human; these suits are people, I must admit in calmer moments, just as worthy of love and respect as the rest of us, they just don't act like it,
