BUY MY STUFF!

Ideas Above Our Station
new collection of shorts, one of which was written by me,
http://www.route-online.com/routev7/page.asp?idno=292

Nine Stop Trip
even newer collection of shorts, all of which were written by me,
http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=65

Will somebody, anybody, please come round my house and kill me.

Been off work since Wednesday with flu and just cannot even begin to describe how insanely rough I feel.

Everything hurts and, until the last few hours or so, I have been completely out of it.

Having a fever is like free acid, only the trip's always bad.

Had a whole bunch of mental dreams / trips yesterday and last night and no real idea what was going on.

Most of it was so crazy that even though it felt real I know it can't have been. One bit did throw me though.

I can remember, with absolute clarity, my girlfriend dumping me. There was a whole complex conversation and I can recall all the details but, as it turns out, none of that actually happened.

She wasn't even here last night!

All very unsettling, but she assured me earlier today that it didn't happen and that almost all those details were way off.

I say almost because, of course, she has dumped me, just now, and this time I know it's real because I still have the text.

It never rains eh?

(04/02/07: turns out I misunderstood that text and wasn't dumped after all, not really sure what's going on to be honest, watch this space.)

It's funny but you'd think that'd trigger my depression big time and yet I feel strangely calm.

I can only assume that the fact that I only just about have the energy to make it upstairs for the occasional piss means that I just don't have it in me to plummet to the depths of despair right now, as fun as that would no doubt be.

Anyway, what better way to distract myself from my health, former relationship and the big job interview I have on Monday, (that's right) than by examining the nature of consumer capitalism.

global warming, (not fucking climate change,)

Subtle rebranding can be very effective if not recognised for what it is. The phrase climate change suggests, to me anyway, a local change in no specified direction.

'Global warming' however makes it very clear exactly what's happening and to whom.

Now I was reading the Guardian's coverage of the IPCC report online earlier today and when I got to the bit where they were talking about how to avoid, or rather minimise, the various impending doomsday scenarios, I couldn't help but think about consumer capitalism.

The simple fact is that capitalism, by definition, must lead to global warming, and no actions within that system can reduce the impact of that process.

I admit that's a fairly sweeping statement but hear me out.

Capitalism is based upon the concept of material value, that all raw materials, goods and services have a, usually monetary, value.

Clearly these values are in constant flux, prices are always changing, but what is it the controls the direction and magnitude of these changes?

Abundancy.

Quite simply, the rarer something is the more it's worth, and herein lies the rub: the whole thing relies on limited availability.

Fossil fuels are a perfect example of this. Again, by definition they are finite, the time scales for their creation being so much longer than the time scales within which we can excavate them.

It's important to note here that I'm not really interested in the intent of the individuals involved, be they philanthropic or malignant, because they don't really make any difference.

Try to think of this in terms of natural selection. If a system, such as capitalism, is successful it will continue to exist and to spread itself.

The less fossil fuel we have, the more it will be worth as the capitalist system feeds itself.

Now in my utopian vision, every community is surrounded and served by small fields of hemp.

We use it as the basis of just about everything, particularly for generating electricity and fuelling vehicles.

The use of biofuels is one of the the recommendations of the IPCC report unfortunately capitalism's self preservation instincts cannot let this be.

If hemp were grown on the scale I envisage, ie. an effectively infinite source available locally everywhere, then hemp would have zero, monetary, value.

How could a capitalist society have as its basis a commodity with no material worth? It doesn't work.

Capitalism requires the destruction of something which cannot be replaced, ie. a planet that can support human life.

fat kids

We have probably never been so obsessed with our own personal health and yet at the same time we've probably never been less healthy either.

Let's compare a super healthy lifestyle with a super unhealthy one and consider how capitalism gains, or not, from them both.

We're all aware of the 'five a day' veg target, but it's worth noting that how fresh the veg is is just as important as how much you eat.

Super healthy would be to eat veg that's barely out the ground, ie. either grown yourself or grown locally.

This means however, no packaging, no storage, and no transportation.

How much money is there to be made in those industries do you think?

There is a direct correlation between food that comes in shed loads of packaging, each component of which has probably been made using oil and then stored, (usually refrigerated,) and transported thousands of miles using even more oil; and food that's really bad for you.

Getting out of the house is also pretty healthy, physical exercise and a break from urban environments are both proven to be hugely beneficial for the human body.

Being out the house means you're not in front of the TV however, and being out of town means you're even beyond the reach of billboards.

The fact is that an unhealthy lifestyle is a profitable one. Just as with global warming, our obsession with the pursuit of material wealth is at the very heart of the problem.

It's a vicious circle as capitalism has established itself as being the god of all gods. If the healthy lifestyle described above was adopted on mass we'd be fucked as it would lead to massive job losses.

So no matter how many ad campaigns or other government initiatives are attempted, we can't escape the slide toward being big fat bastards as long as capitalism is the foundation of our society.

what is it good for?

A quicky to finish, as I can't really be arsed anymore, (sorry!)

What is the single most profitable industry in the history of mankind?

Well I must admit I don't know for sure, but I'd put my hard earned sick pay on it being the business of war.

Talk about disposable produce. A scared enough public will write you a blank cheque to develop more lethal technology.

Once you've built it, you smash the fuck out of it, or just wait a few years until your 'duty' compels you to do it all again.

There's a book called 'Pentagonism' by Juan Bosch explains this better than I ever could and is well worth reading.

It amuses me, in a bitter kind of way, when people struggle to understand the US's obsession with warfare.

They're a country born of war and war has been the foundation of their economy and ideology ever since.

Let's not forget that we UK taxpayers have only just now finally paid off our WWII debt to the US. They made an absolute mint out of that one.

I once read an article that stated so much money was tied up in illegal activities that if you could flip a switch to turn off crime across the globe, every economy and stock market in the world would instantly crash.

If the common dream of world peace could be achieved by the flick of another magical switch I believe exactly the same would happen.

Capitalism requires need to exist and so creates need through destruction, whether it be boiling the seas, expanding our waistlines or blowing up children.

We're doomed to carry on down this greasy slope for as long as we refuse to open our eyes to other possibilities.